Moses trip to Promised Land

[Animal]

So, i think the bible says it it took Moses 40 years to lead his people out of Egypt to the Promised Land. I think he died right before they got there, but let's think about that.

Using a map to roughly scale out the path they took, it was around 800 miles. Now, for a 40 year trip walking, that would be covering about 290 feet a day. That's about the distance of a city block. Way to push them along, Moses.

[Blast]

I think he was trying to get them to grow their army before they got there sp he had to stall a bit.

[Animal]

we need to get a bunch of Moses type guys to lead those Guatemalans up here.

[CaptQuint]

Moses was 120 years old, motherfucker walked slow

[megman]

He refused to stop and ask for directions.

[CHEEZY17]

What a lot of people dont realize is that Moses and later Joshua kicked a TON of ass. And they kicked ass the old fashioned way. If they were fighting you, they made sure you and your people were all quite dead.

[Reservoir Dog]

What a lot of people dont realize is that Moses and later Joshua kicked a TON of ass. And they kicked ass the old fashioned way. If they were fighting you, they made sure you and your people were all quite dead.

So did The Avengers.

[WestTexasCrude]

So, i think the bible says it it took Moses 40 years to lead his people out of Egypt to the Promised Land. I think he died right before they got there, but let's think about that.

Using a map to roughly scale out the path they took, it was around 800 miles. Now, for a 40 year trip walking, that would be covering about 290 feet a day. That's about the distance of a city block. Way to push them along, Moses.

Well, they were dragging all that tons of gold. Besides, that Arc of Covenent must have been a bitch to move, with all the stopping every 5 feet to gesticulate

[Stapes]

When Moses went up to Mt. Sinai to get the ten commandments Edward G. Robinson talked all the Israelites into not believing in God and they started fornicating, smoking weed and talking shit about God that culminated in melting all their gold and built a calf to pray too. When Moses came down from the mountain and saw that their was a rave going on he got pissed off and smashed the shit out of the tablets and screamed “You maniacs, you blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

God was so pissed off that he punished the whole generation of idol worshippers who lost faith and made them wander the desert until they all died off and only their children could enter the Promised Land. Even Moses was banned from entering.

[VinceBordenIII]

I seem to recall they were doing some other stuff, like fighting the hitites or something.

[AnalHamster]

Dude was high. That's the long and short of it. Every day he ate his magical mushrooms and led the people based on where the pillar of cloud and fire told them to go. 40 years is actually pretty quick in the circumstances.

[Antknot]

I have a bible related question about travel.

The wise men followed a star to find Jesus. Did they use it's location at dusk, dawn or midnight?

[Geist]

That's where the term "moseying around" come from.

[AnalHamster]

I have a bible related question about travel.

The wise men followed a star to find Jesus. Did they use it's location at dusk, dawn or midnight?

It was a magical star in a fixed location. Dusk, dawn and midnight was when it sent them flyers advertising travel insurance, hotel and camel rental.

[Animal]

I can't help but wonder about the Garden of Eden. Historians seem to believe that it was located somewhere around Syria or Iraq. Now, I'm not as smart as God is, but it seems to me that if you have the whole earth to play with, and you wanted to start with a beautiful paradise, then Syria or Iraq would be somewhere at the bottom of the list.

I mean what was wrong with Costa Rica or somewhere in Spain or even around San Diego. Syria? get outta here.

[Antknot]

Climate change, ever hear of it?

[megman]

[Blast]

I can't help but wonder about the Garden of Eden. Historians seem to believe that it was located somewhere around Syria or Iraq. Now, I'm not as smart as God is, but it seems to me that if you have the whole earth to play with, and you wanted to start with a beautiful paradise, then Syria or Iraq would be somewhere at the bottom of the list.

I mean what was wrong with Costa Rica or somewhere in Spain or even around San Diego. Syria? get outta here.

You get anywhere near water in Iraq and the place is as lush as any in the world. Away from the water and it is just another scab on the asshole of the world.

[QillerDaemon]

I used to have this discussion with the creationists back in college. It was mostly an enormous waste of time. Adam and Eve had three sons: Abel, Cain, and later Seth. "As well as other sons and daughters." So we are either the spawn of tons of incest, or there were other people not descended from Adam and Eve, and also not mentioned in Genesis. So the Genesis doesn't have all the answers for the origin of man, and that's not you gawd-dam well told before! "Well, God reveals what is in your best interests according to His plan!" So God intends for us to be ignorant and unthinking fools?

[Animal]

well, if the story is true, then we all descended from adam and eve. which from a genetic perspective would be a disaster. but they don't often talk about the fact that we also all descended from noah. so if the incestuous genetics from adam and eve didn't get us, then they had one more shot at it with noah.

[Reservoir Dog]

well, if the story is true, then we all descended from adam and eve. which from a genetic perspective would be a disaster. but they don't often talk about the fact that we also all descended from noah. so if the incestuous genetics from adam and eve didn't get us, then they had one more shot at it with noah.

Noah'a sons brought their wives along for the ride, so at least there were some other blood lines involved.

[Animal]

what if adam and eve and their sons all evolved into apes and migrated to africa. and then thousands of years later they evolved back into homo sapiens?

[WestTexasCrude]

I can't help but wonder about the Garden of Eden. Historians seem to believe that it was located somewhere around Syria or Iraq. Now, I'm not as smart as God is, but it seems to me that if you have the whole earth to play with, and you wanted to start with a beautiful paradise, then Syria or Iraq would be somewhere at the bottom of the list.

I mean what was wrong with Costa Rica or somewhere in Spain or even around San Diego. Syria? get outta here.

Actually the stories of Eden in the Bible were probably almost certainly talking about the area in Iraq/ Syria around the Tigris/ Euphrates river systems. 3,000 years ago with man made irrigation systems, probably the most fertile area on Earth. The waste land you see today is just 3,000 years of human overuse of the land, Trees cut down, etc. l

[HighNDry]

what if adam and eve and their sons all evolved into apes and migrated to africa. and then thousands of years later they evolved back into homo sapiens?

You might be on to something.

I mean “on something.”

[Reservoir Dog]

what if adam and eve and their sons all evolved into apes and migrated to africa. and then thousands of years later they evolved back into homo sapiens?

That could explain the whole "Planet of the Apes" thing.